Redeemed

Easter, the day I celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. With all my struggles recently I didn't know if I'd be able to finish listening to The Book of Mormon before Easter. I mean, I've been reading it for two years and not finished it yet. But I did finish it on Friday. The biggest thing that stood out to me was Charity.

I was able to go to a mission reunion a few weeks ago. During that we had a little inspirational meeting and we sang a few verses from a song:

It touched my heart. There is something special singing with my fellow missionaries, it's a very sweet feeling. I was also touched because I felt the song said things about how I was feeling and the challenges I was and am going through.

Since then I have also started listening to the Book Of Mormon again while I'm at work.  Life has still has many challenges and it feels like more are added every week. I recently met with my church congregation leader about some of these challenges and he listened and counseled with me about some of these things. One piece of advice he gave me was when I pray to only express thanks. Because I feel scared or nervous to ask for things. It is difficult and a bit awkward, I didn't know how to end my prayer at the end of our meeting when only giving thanks; usually I say a statement like, "I pray and ask for these things..." but I wasn't asking for anything so that would be out of place. I know I felt the Spirit during the prayer and as I was thinking about things I am grateful for, more things would come to my mind that I normally don't express gratitude for. Most of them weren't things money could buy, but they were blessings or things God has given to me, and some of them have been faith trying things to do and I am so grateful for that.

Another interesting thing happened, in my church the women visit other women from the congregation. With everything that has been happening this month and the last two weeks, visiting with these sweet women seemed to get pushed further down the line of things to do. Yesterday I was able to converse with them over the phone.

One of these woman I have known for years. She has been a church leader I have had close association with over my life. I've known her since I was 5. As we spoke on the phone she said, "I've been thinking about you" and I started to cry. I don't like to ask for help. I know people are busy and they have work, family, and jobs. But when life is tough I generally shut off from the world. I don't want to burden others with my problems. She continued to share with me thoughts she had been having.

• One of them was if I am doing too much and if there is something I can take out of my life to make it easier and less stressful. 
• Another thought was to take five minutes and make a list of things that make me happy and when I start feeling depressed, go and do something on the list and add to it from time to time. She shared after a different woman from our congregations husband passed away, she had done this and if she was doing something on the list she told herself, "name, you're doing something on your list, these things make you happy." 
• A third thought she shared was, when I pray, she feels I have a special connection with heaven. I know I am not the best at praying, especially when I am struggling. But it meant alot. That she said she feels God is really listening when I pray. Coming from a woman I have looked up to for over 75% of my life, that means a great deal, especially when I feel these challenges have brought me to feel low in my abilities. 

Another woman I visit with from my congregation, I have a special memory with when I was 13 and my mom was in the hospital, things got especially rough and I started feeling suicidal. I had sent a message to her daughter and she and her daughter had come to my house. Her daughter talked to me for over 2 hours and she had stayed in the car and was praying for me. Every time I visit her I am reminded of this experience and how thankful I am that she came to my house that night.

There are a a couple other ladies in my life that have really helped me the last few months. They have helped when I have been struggling in more ways than I can count. From texts of advice, and support to helping with questions and concerns I have. I am grateful for the people in my life. I have been given support from. I am also grateful for the short cute texts or calls from people. I am grateful for Jesus Christ and God for their love for me.

I encourage you to do some of the things that have been suggested to me if you are feeling down. I don't have all the answers, my life isn't perfect, I am trying to do the best I can. I'm trying to help other know that they aren't the only one struggling. Please remember, you are not alone.